August 15, 2008
I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE THAT BIT because I was laughing too hard. So here it is again, in case you missed it, too. Ah, dear. 

I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE THAT BIT because I was laughing too hard. So here it is again, in case you missed it, too. Ah, dear. 

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Oh God. I nearly burst something.

Oh God. I nearly burst something.

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July 8, 2008

The Simpsons

Homer: I’m sick of this Tarzan movie.

Lisa: Dad, this is a documentary about the homeless.

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June 30, 2008
“ I like to remember everything as it was. Because moments by themselves aren’t enough; they’re just — they’re like photographs. They move a little, they wave, but they aren’t everything. You can look back on a moment and say ‘In that moment I was happy’ or, more often than not, ‘In that moment I was uncomfortable’ or ‘In that moment I was sad’ or ‘In that moment we were all berks’ but you can look back on everything and you think, ‘That was good.’ Because when all the moments come together, when all the songs meet up with one another, you get something whole and complete and wonderful, people you loved and people you hated and a fondness for them you may not be able to recapture but everything you remember about them being somehow more than they really were, because that’s what remembering everything does.
Shoebox Project •
June 2, 2008

Stupid Quotes That I Found.

Yeah, so I found a Livejournal community that just has really dumb quotes that people have accidentally overheard - these are some real gems xD 

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GUY: It would be fruitful to play the oboe!

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KID: You know, I think Super Mario would be better if he was Polish.

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GIRL: So she never learned to pole dance, and then someone drove a 4WD through her back fence.

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GUY: He was sharpening a crayon with the electric sharpener and a piece flew into his mouth and he swallowed it down the wrong way, so now he only has one lung.

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GIRL: Okay. I don’t want to sound racist, but do Jews celebrate Hanukkah or is it Canadians?

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GIRL: Are you ticklish?

GUY: (after a long pause) I have diarrhea. 

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GUY 1: Can I borrow a pencil?

GUY 2: I’ll fuckin’ kill you! 

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May 24, 2008

Me love this song.

Started out last night 

I was thinkin’ of days gone by 

Of the times I’ve had 

And the things that I’ve left behind 

Some change, some die 

Still we manage to survive 

It’s knowing when and what to do, 

It’s up to you 

Don’t know what’s goin’ on, 

I can’t wait ‘til 

One summer, I’ll find a way 

One summer, will always remain 

One summer, remember the way 

Hauled down, turned around 

Find myself facin’ the wall 

I think back to school, 

It’s all the same, slightly different rules 

Outside on your own, 

Watch yourself ‘cause you’re all alone 

I know what’s going on, 

I can’t wait ‘til 

One summer, I’ll find a way 

One summer, will always remain 

One summer, remember the way 

I think back not far, 

Drivin’ down the beach in my car 

Another place same time, 

Icky runs along a fine line 

Down there, no chance, 

He’s trapped in a different romance 

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May 20, 2008
“ WE HAVE A KITCHEN?
Homer Simpson •
May 16, 2008

You know what really Grinds my Gears?

But seriously. I went to the movies tonight, you see. The movie was scheduled to begin at 01:45am. They actually let us into the theatre at around 01:50am - don’t really care there, if they need an extra five minutes to make sure I don’t sit in somebody’s discarded popcorn I won’t argue. But the movie didn’t start until almost 01:15am. That’s half an hour after it was supposed to start, and you know why? They played almost a full half hour of advertisements.

I have no problem with movie trailers being shown in theatres - I’m fond of movie trailers, they’re cool. But when they make you sit there for some insane amount of time watching ads for watches and mobile phones and dettol body scrub and dandruff prevention shampoo and whatever else has absolutely nothing to do with movies - damn straight it pisses me off. And every bloody time I go there’s more ads, and they’re more pointless, and sometimes they even play the same ad twice. Not accidentally, spread out amongst the other ads, but twice in a row. Like the people running the thing care so little about your viewing experience that they couldn’t even be bothered to spread the fucking things out! 

Or maybe they do it on purpose just to spite us. Who knows. Either way, it’s lame, when you pay ten bucks to get in somewhere and that’s what you’re greeted with. If they’re gonna make you sit through a half hour of ads, they should be paying me. Pssh.

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May 15, 2008
“ Connie, I think I have a theory about why you’re such a bitch. You see, Connie, you’re popular because you developed early and started putting out when you were 12, but now, you can’t stand to look at yourself in the mirror because all you see is a whore. So you pick on Meg to avoid the inevitable realization that once your body is used up by age 19, you’re gonna be a worn-out, chalky skin, burlap sack that even your stepdad won’t want. How’s that? Am I in the ball park?
Brian Griffin •
May 14, 2008
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